Birth Mum Stories


Carolyn’s Story

In 2000 I found myself pregnant. I blocked it out of my mind not wanting to believe this had happened as I am a single mum of two boys aged 2 & 5 yrs. I continued to go through everyday life.
I went into labour late one night and rang 111 and my parents, who as you would expect were surprised as they had never suspected anything. Mind you, I was wearing baggy tops. I went in the ambulance with my Mum. Unfortunately, I ended up giving birth en route to Wellington Hospital. I had a lovely baby girl who I named Amy Louise.
The next step was to decide what I wanted to do. The best decision for me was to place her for adoption so that she could get the best possible upbringing from life and with a couple who were unable to conceive.

While in Hospital I was put in touch with the Adoption Unit through CYPS and met a Social Worker. I knew that I didn’t want to bring Amy home as it would be too hard so I placed her in a Foster Home. While Amy was there I tried to visit at least twice a week.

Then I had to find a suitable family so I started going through profiles of couples listed with the Adoption Unit. There were a lot of profiles so to narrow the search I made a list of what I wanted and picked a couple. But when I met them, unfortunately, they couldn’t decide whether or not they wanted Amy. So I met couple number 2 and was very impressed. I allowed them to go and visit Amy and they liked her. Legal arrangements were made for the couple to adopt Amy. This took about a week.

On the morning that she was going to her new family I went to say goodbye. It was the hardest decision that I had made but I knew it was the best one. So Amy went to her new family.
2003 I yet again found myself pregnant. But this time I was prepared and as I had already placed Amy for adoption my first instinct was to see if the couple would like another baby. And guess what? They did!

I had a lot of complications with this pregnancy and ended up in hospital for a week before being induced. Baby Emily was born Oct 3rd 2003 (same day as her adopted father’s birthday). Her new family came to the hospital to see her.

Emily went to a Foster Home for 3 weeks before going to her new home with big sister Amy. I do see Amy & Emily about three times a year and it is wonderful. They are lovely girls and have parents that give them the best in life that they can.
So placing a child for adoption can be painful but also very rewarding- to see them in a loving home environment and watch them growing.

Sharon's Story

I found myself pregnant at 17 and decided early on that I was in no position to offer what this child needed and, having made a rational decision to adopt out my baby, at ten weeks, never waivered. Which is not to say it wasn't hard, but I did have the support of my very disappointed parents and a great group of friends.
 
The one thing that helped the most was talking to a young woman who had herself adopted a child out. I stumbled on her quite by chance as she worked for the Social Welfare office and she gave me her time out of her own initiative. Talking to her showed me there was life after this virtual 'brick wall' I was hurtling towards and helped me retain some perspective.
 
My firstborn is now 31 and he is a best friend of his two half siblings, especially his half brother, with whom he has developed a close bond.
 
I met a lot of women, going through university, who had had abortions and I know a lot of them grieved every year their 'lost' child should have been celebrating a birthday. I had grief too, but only the first year. Every year after that, thirty years now, I have not once regretted my decision. My firstborn has had a charmed life in a loving family who gave him so much more than I could have at that time and I myself went on to travel the world, study, secure a career and have a family of my own.